Doug Smith and his lovely wife Jenny of 32 years have two amazing children and two lovely children-in-laws. Doug is a long-time friend and mentor of Matthew’s and he serves on Matthew’s board of advisors. Pull up a chair to The Family Table and enjoy as Doug shares incredible wisdom for parents, couples, and individuals looking to deepen their family bonds!

Key Takeaways

  – Consistently affirm children’s inherent worth/beauty to shape their trajectory

  – Balance work/family by being present and involved in kids’ lives/interests

  – Process grief outwardly through mourning to move forward, not stay stuck

  – Find and nurture your “inner child” to heal and gain perspective on life

Doug’s Family Background

  – Married 32 years to Jennifer

  – Two adult children: Emma (27) and Tanner (25), both married

  – Owned/operated a youth retreat center for nearly 20 years

  – Currently does speaking, mentoring, and consulting

Parenting Philosophy

  – Gave kids “freedom to do right” instead of strict rules

  – Taught right/wrong through modeling and conversations

  – Asked “what” questions instead of “why” to promote thinking

  – Celebrated milestones but also random moments of good behavior

  – Advised being honest with kids, tailoring truth to their age/maturity

Navigating Challenges

  – Went through a difficult 3-year process when father-in-law left the family

  – Coped by repeatedly affirming “God’s got this”

  – Shielded kids from unnecessary details but was honest

  – Advised processing grief outwardly through mourning, not inwardly

Work-Life Balance

  – Acknowledged perfect balance is a myth, and requires constant adjustment

  – Made an effort to be present at kids’ activities/interests

  – Tried to be the “fun dad” to know kids’ friends

  – Wished he had done more regular “heart checks” with family

Key Book Recommendations

1.  Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

2.  The Shack by William P. Young

3.  The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan

Parenting Advice

  – Tell daughters they’re beautiful and sons they’re enough every night

  – Have fun and relax – enjoy people/moments in life

  – Understand grief and its effects to process it healthily

  – Help kids “find their little” (inner child) for healing/perspective